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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25794748">The Sp-egg-tre Of Fests Past</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_of_sharp_things/pseuds/storm_of_sharp_things'>storm_of_sharp_things</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>James Bond (Craig movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Licentious cooking, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:34:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,201</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25794748</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_of_sharp_things/pseuds/storm_of_sharp_things</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Q wakes up from the strangest nightmare. James makes it better.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Bond/Q</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>A Party In Sherwood</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Sp-egg-tre Of Fests Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinefromsherwood/gifts">christinefromsherwood</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>In honor of christinefromsherwood's birthday!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p><em>“Scrambled eggs!”</em> Q came awake with a gasp, clutching at the covers. The nightmare still had a hold on him and he jumped with a little shriek when a warm hand landed on his shoulder.</p>
<p>James was regarding him with a quirk of a smile. “I take it we shouldn’t have an omelette for breakfast?”</p>
<p>Q shuddered and turned to hide his face against James’ shoulder. James wrapped around him reassuringly, curling him into his warmth and nuzzling at his temple. “Did it make any sense?” he asked in a low murmur. “What you remember of it?”</p>
<p>Q paused to contemplate the nightmare and then gave a little hiccup of laughter. “You were in a sexual relationship with the aforementioned breakfast food.”</p>
<p>“...I...what?”</p>
<p>“You even got a UTI from it, James...James. It’s not that...<em>it’s not that funny!”</em></p>
<p>James panted. “We’re going to have to agree to disagree, love...”</p>
<p>“James...” Q trailed off in a little growl and his lover grinned at him.</p>
<p>“Q, you are nearly irresistible when you’re put out, especially when we’re lying naked in bed together.”</p>
<p>Q blushed slightly, still a little too new to the relationship to be so blasé about how tangled their legs were and what sensitive bits were pressed where. Especially when said sensitive bits suddenly remembered to react to the proximity of James’ sensitive bits.</p>
<p>James laughed softly while he stroked his thumb across Q’s lips. “But...I’m afraid Liar and Thief have heard us...” A piteous wavering meow sounded from the other side of the bedroom door, the last sad sounds of a creature dying of starvation. James’ eyes crinkled with amused exasperation as the scrape of claws against wood started up.</p>
<p>Q sighed. “I suppose Liar’s swan song means the new cabinet closures have kept Thief out of their food stock.”</p>
<p>“Well, you are a genius.” James rolled over onto his back and stretched, the blanket falling away to reveal every tempting inch of him, and Q cursed the very existence of his beloved cats for just a moment. As if aware of his treacherous thoughts, Liar ratcheted up his mournful yowling and Thief scrabbled harder at the bedroom door, her claws catching occasionally and rattling the door in its frame.</p>
<p>James burst out laughing. “Tell me again why the automated feeder didn’t solve this problem?”</p>
<p>“Because they’re <em>cats</em> and they signed on for support staff, not mere mechanical maintenance?” Q gave him a rueful smile. “I did warn you they were spoiled...”</p>
<p>“My darling, I hardly think this is still in the same category as <em>spoiled.”</em></p>
<p>Liar’s tragic keening informed them that any further delay would result in jail for a thousand years and Q rolled out of bed, pulling on pajama bottoms on his way to the door. “Yes, dammit, I’m coming!”</p>
<p>James snorted. “Completely different tone from last night.”</p>
<p>Q cast him a glare as he opened the bedroom door and took great satisfaction in Thief’s bound past him to launch herself at the bed, claws extended to stick her landing. He strode down the hallway with Liar braiding himself around his feet and complaining loudly at the delay as James began yowling himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And I’m telling you, I <em>really</em> don’t want eggs for breakfast.” Q crossed his arms. “How is that difficult to understand?”</p>
<p>James gave him a stubborn look. “You adore my eggs.”</p>
<p>“Yes, when I haven’t just had a <em>nightmare</em> about them!”</p>
<p>“But there’s the problem - I can’t let there be any negative associations with my cooking.”</p>
<p>James continued to assemble his ingredients at the stove and Q couldn’t help bursting into laughter. “You can’t force me to eat them!”</p>
<p>James looked at him sidelong and smirked. “If I’ve done this right, no forcing will be necessary.”</p>
<p>“Done <em>what</em> right...” Q yelped as James yanked him over for a kiss, nothing but Q’s pajama bottoms and James’ apron between them. He gasped as James slid a hand into his hair and and then moaned when James took advantage with a rough open-mouthed kiss.</p>
<p>He felt James shift against him and move away just a little, and then there was a burst of saltiness as James’ finger, studded with a few sea salt crystals, touched his mouth. He took James’ finger in and sucked, licking the salt away and savoring James’ ragged breath.</p>
<p>“Tactical error,” James muttered as he pulled away, breathing more heavily. Q grinned in brief triumph before James turned him to face the stovetop, pinning him with his hips as he reached past to swipe a fingertip through the butter and brush it along Q’s lips.</p>
<p>“I know what you’re doing,” Q muttered as he licked his lips and watched James drop a dollop into the pan.</p>
<p>“Do you?” James purred as he picked up the small glass jar of sweet basil and waved it under under Q’s nose, brushing his palm over the front of Q’s hips at the same time. The small dish of freshly chopped chives followed as James kissed behind Q’s ear.</p>
<p>“So you <em>want</em> me to have an inappropriate reaction to food...?”</p>
<p>James laughed softly and stirred the eggs, a splash of milk, and a bit of cream cheese together, adding salt and pepper and a generous sprinkling of herbs before turning it into the pan to cook. Q inhaled appreciatively in spite of himself.</p>
<p>“That’s right,” James murmured, lips brushing the nape of Q’s neck as he gently stirred the eggs. His other hand held Q’s hip, fingers moving lightly over the sensitive marks left from the previous evening’s activities. Q whined a little and let his eyes shut. James was solid and warm behind him, touching and shifting enough to stir him towards arousal, and the good smells from the stove in front of him were triggering hunger.</p>
<p>Q turned restlessly, burying his face against James’ shoulder and throat while James cooked and whispered little endearments into his hair. He opened his eyes when James turned off the stove with a firm click, but couldn’t prevent the tiny yelp when he was suddenly lifted up to sit on the counter. James stood between his knees, grinning, and offered a forkful of delectable eggs.</p>
<p>Q rolled his eyes, but opened his mouth obediently and let James feed him. He wasn’t about to admit how delicious it was; James hardly needed encouragement. But he couldn’t resist chasing the fork a little until James smirked triumphantly and tugged their hips closer together.</p>
<p>“Yes, all right,” Q admitted, trying for a testy tone. “There’s no call to be smug.”</p>
<p>“The cats are fed,” James said, setting the empty plate aside. “The nightmare is dispelled.” He set his hands on Q’s thighs, fingers moving in teasing little circles. “And the humans have had their necessary sustenance, as well...”</p>
<p>Q licked his lips in anticipation. “And...?”</p>
<p>“And now we reinforce the association, of course.” James encouraged Q’s legs to wrap around his waist and lifted him off the counter, heading for the bedroom.</p>
<p>“This seems an unnecessarily elaborate way to handle a nightmare,” Q said, squirming against James as he walked down the hallway.</p>
<p>“Are you complaining?”</p>
<p>“Never,” he murmured with a smirk. “I think you handled it egg-cellently.”</p>
<p> </p>
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